Slimmest iPhone yet....

Today’s topics

• Klarna Transforms into a Bank

• Amazon Will Deliver Bananas Before You Finish This Sentence

• iPhone 17 Set to Be the Slimmest Yet

• California Rejects SpaceX Launch Expansion

• Robbins’ Health Startup Raises $18M to Help Millionaires Live Longer

• Nepal’s 97 Free Peaks: Stunning, Remote, and Grueling

  and more…

Klarna Transforms into a Bank

Klarna, the Swedish “buy now, pay later” giant once valued at $45 billion, now has its sights set on becoming your bank — yes, the same company that made it possible to split the cost of cinnamon buns into three payments. After shelving billion-dollar IPO plans this spring when Trump’s tariff drama shook markets, founder Sebastian Siemiatkowski is back with a September listing in mind and a new pitch: debit cards, savings accounts, and full-on digital banking. With 100 million users, $9.5 billion in deposits, and partnerships with Walmart, Airbnb, Uber, and more, Klarna aims to sign up 10 million debit cardholders in a year and grow into a global lender — all while keeping its Barbie-pink branding and star-studded ads featuring Snoop Dogg, Lady Gaga, and Paris Hilton. But critics note the irony: Klarna’s “gentle” banking push targets financially stressed shoppers in an era of rising costs — a move some liken to offering free tequila shots at an AA meeting.

Perplexity Tries to Buy Chrome for $34.5B

Perplexity AI — the three-year-old startup valued at $14 billion — has made a bold $34.5 billion cash offer for Google’s Chrome browser, bidding more than twice its own worth. The deal would hand Perplexity access to Chrome’s 3+ billion users, giving it a huge advantage in the AI search wars. Their proposal includes keeping Chromium open-source, investing $3 billion into it over two years, and not changing Chrome’s default search engine (translation: Google stays your homepage… for now). Google hasn’t put Chrome on the market, and experts believe they’d fight in court for years before giving up their prized internet gateway. Still, with regulators circling and antitrust pressure mounting, Perplexity is taking its shot — even if the legal battle lasts longer than your “quick” Netflix binge.

Amazon Will Deliver Bananas Before You Finish This Sentence

Amazon just took aim at your local grocery store, launching same-day delivery for meat, eggs, and produce in over 1,000 cities — with plans to reach 2,300 by year’s end. The service is free for Prime members spending over $25, $2.99 for non-Prime orders over $25, and a wallet-punching $12.99 if you’re not a member. Translation: either join Prime or pay more for delivery than for the eggs themselves. The news rattled the market — Instacart dropped 11%, Kroger fell 4%, Albertsons slid 3%, and Walmart, Amazon’s grocery arch-rival, dipped 1% (likely while stress-eating its own stock). Amazon has been quietly merging Fresh, Whole Foods, and its online grocery arm into one seamless fridge-filling machine — now supercharged with same-day avocado drops. If your supermarket aisles start looking emptier, it’s not a supply issue — it’s Bezos bagging your bananas.

iPhone 17 Set to Be the Slimmest Yet

Apple is gearing up for its September showcase, where it’s expected to debut the iPhone 17 lineup — billed as “the thinnest iPhone ever.” Leaks suggest a new “iPhone 17 Air” with a single camera lens, a basic A19 chip, and Apple’s own modem, catering to fans of minimalism (and minimal upgrades). The Pro model might sport a sleek wraparound antenna for improved signal — perfect for making calls from the middle of nowhere. Pricing remains under wraps, but with Trump’s tariffs in play, expect either a $50 price bump or Apple spinning it as a “deal” thanks to a possible 256GB base storage. The event is rumored for September 9, kicking off the yearly tradition of insisting your current phone is “just fine” — until you see the new one and start crafting excuses to upgrade.

AOL Finally Disconnects from the 90s

Farewell to an internet relic: AOL is shutting down its dial-up service on September 30. Yes, that dial-up — the screechy, beepy, “don’t pick up the phone or I’ll get disconnected” one. AOL says it’s “evaluating products” (translation: nobody’s paying $9.99 a month to wait three minutes for a webpage anymore). Once a 90s cultural icon and early 2000s household staple, AOL dial-up brought free trial CDs by the mailbox-full and the joy of “You’ve Got Mail” — before broadband turned it into a punchline. After decades of hanging on, the original internet gateway is finally logging off for good.

California Rejects SpaceX Launch Expansion

The California Coastal Commission has unanimously opposed an effort to nearly double rocket launches at Vandenberg Space Force Base—from 50 to 95 Falcon 9 launches yearly—and add up to five Falcon Heavy launches plus more booster landings. The commission raised concerns over environmental impacts, wildlife disruption, noise pollution, and community transparency—issues they feel weren’t adequately addressed by SpaceX or the Space Force. Read more

US Space Force to Launch Eighth X-37B Mission

In collaboration with the Air Force Rapid Capabilities Office and SpaceX, the U.S. Space Force is preparing its eighth mission of the robotic X-37B orbital test vehicle. This unmanned spaceplane will carry advanced technology experiments aboard a Falcon 9 rocket. Read more

Robbins’ Health Startup Raises $18M to Help Millionaires Live Longer

Tony Robbins and Peter Diamandis’ longevity venture, Fountain Life, has secured another $18 million in funding — proving that immortality now comes with a hefty subscription fee. The Series B round, led by EOS Ventures, pushes total funding to $108 million for a service that costs up to $30,000 a year to scan, blood-test, and “optimize” clients into premium versions of themselves. Their pitch: early detection, “optimization,” and experimental regenerative therapies so you don’t “die of anything stupid.” Translation: four Fountain Life centers (with more on the way) will run you through advanced scans, monitor over 100 biomarkers, and prescribe supplements, treatments, or stem cell wizardry. Robbins’ trademark pep talks aren’t part of the package — but the reminder of your own mortality probably is. The perk? Catching diseases before symptoms even show, with a few “we saved your life” stories ready for investor presentations. At $30K a year, it’s concierge medicine for those aiming to hit 120 with their abs intact.

Plastic Pollution Treaty Collapses as U.S. Blocks Key Limits

Summary: International negotiations in Geneva aimed at crafting a legally binding treaty to curb global plastic pollution have ended in failure. The U.S., alongside major oil-producing nations, balked at crucial measures like limiting plastic production and banning harmful additives—effectively stalling progress toward a global agreement. Read more

Air Quality Monitoring Intensifies After Devastating Pennsylvania Steel Plant Blast

Summary: A deadly explosion at the Clairton Coke Works plant—one of North America’s largest coking facilities—triggered heightened air quality monitoring in the surrounding region. Authorities deployed mobile air-monitoring units to check for pollutants like PM2.5, VOCs, and sulfur dioxide. While initial readings showed no elevated levels, residents and environmental advocates are calling for stronger ongoing safeguards, including permanent fenceline monitoring. Read more

Brian Flores Scores Court Win: NFL Discrimination Lawsuit Moves to Open Court

A federal appeals court has ruled that former NFL coach Brian Flores’ racial discrimination lawsuit—against multiple teams in the league—can proceed publicly, rather than being confined to arbitration. Flores called the league’s initial push for arbitration “biased and unfair,” and this decision pushes his case into full public court scrutiny. Read more

Nepal’s 97 Free Peaks: Stunning, Remote, and Grueling

Nepal is offering free permits to climb 97 mountains over the next two years — a tourism push that’s essentially, “Everest is $15K, but here’s the discount rack of peaks.” These mountains are just as stunning and lofty, but so remote you might lose a few toenails on the trek in. The goal: boost tourism in underdeveloped regions. Translation: they’d like your Instagram feed to feature something other than Everest’s overcrowded death line.

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